Relationships

I can't help coming back to this topic in my mind every now and then. Throughout my life until mid twenties I've had very close friends. And to me it's just the person that matters, not their background, gender etc. I've had close male and female friends. Somehow I tend to think that the dynamics change after you get married and the friends get married. Actually, I always believed that being married didn't change anything to me. Relationships with friends were the same in my mind, but who knows, may be others' perception is different. But what I have always noticed so far is that once a friend gets married, the friendship gets altered, regardless of whether that friend is male or female. May be we just get too engrossed in family life? But for the longest time my husband and I still lived like college kids. In fact I was still going to university for my second degree even after marriage. Sometimes I feel tired of just play-dates and group trips.

Or is this all just what they call 'Seattle Freeze'? At every milestone I reach, I feel gratitude and contentment, but also a little bit of a void because I am not able to have that 'deep' sharing any more. People very often seem interested in what you're doing, but then again, it's just pseudo-interested. Sometimes I wonder whether moving to a different place would magically change things. May be then I'll cultivate friendships where both parties are completely engaged in each others' lives, there is a strong solidarity and whenever you achieve something (may not be 'achievement' in the universal sense, but just to you), there is someone to celebrate it with instead of you cracking open a champagne by yourself at home.

I do have a couple of people I can relate to at the level I want, though, so I think I should end on a good note of gratitude towards them. And I have a husband who understands my passions and dreams. That means the most, perhaps.